Speak
by Augusta-Gone91
Summary: its a fanfic of a movie called Speak. It's very different and a little more intense


Chapter One

Father, I Must Confess

I hate nights like these. When all there are in this rickety old house are shadows. Shadows from the old tree where I used to swing from. Shadows from the light that hasn't been turned on for over two weeks. The mopey music that repeats itself in the bright white stereo keeps playing the same dreary song. The front door finally creaked open after three hours of being left alone. Footsteps crept up the hallway. They stopped just beyond my door. "Shayna?" my mothers voice. It almost made me cringe. I didn't say a word in reply. "Honey?" she opened the door, I heard the unmistakable brushing of the shag carpeting," Are you asleep?" I turned to her and tried my best not to give her something better than a blank stare. "Are you okay?" she asked with a hopeful look. I nodded my head. "Do you want dinner?" I shook my head. "Okay.." she looked disappointed. My heart twinged with remorse but my eyes welled with tears for a different reason. "Goodnight." I turned back over and pulled the black sheets over me. Tears sprang from my eyes like an uncontrollable flash flood. His face popped up in my mind. His gorgeous, brilliant, yet terrifying face. My hand wiped my tears and I cradled myself. The way he had once. Just once. Every memory from the first time I met him to our first date. He had seemed so amazing. I had let myself beleive he was the one. I had poured my heart out to him. Confessing my every boundary, my every dream. The aspects of my exciting young teenage life. The life that is no longer exciting. The life that curls up in a ball in the crevices of something that once was. Something I can never erase and wish that I would have been more perceptive. How could I have ever been so blind? So stupid. I sighed and more tears fell. Crunching my yes closed, I slammed the pillow over my head and forced myself to dream.

My throat felt constricted. I could hardly breathe. I fought for the breath that would sustain my life but it didn't help. My eyes flew open and I could only see his face. No sound could escape me. I mouthed his name. His dreadful, overpowering strength was taking my life, his self-indulgence was stealing away my youth, my innocence. His hold on my neck loosened, everything I was trying to protect had vanished. As he he laid on me, in me, with me, he took me over. Anything I valued he'd stolen. Breaths were coming in great gasps. My eye sight was restricted, I saw hazy colors and light clouds in front of his face. "Derek-" It managed to slip from the corners of my used lips. He screamed, raged. His hold on my neck became a throttle and the pressure in my body was immense. There was no way I could stop him. He stopped himself, he appeared busy with something else. Something he treated with much more care. Shiny metal, I felt like a prayer was answered. His hand was farther away from me than it had been for nearly an hour. He held the gun to my heart. He muttered seemless words to me.

I screamed myself awake. My hand instantly wandered straight to my throat, his face imprinted on the inside of my eye lids. I choked. Gagged on air. I heard running from inside the house. " Shayna!!" My mother. "Shayna, what are you doing?" My sister. The door slammed against the wall and they both ran into the bedroom. "What happened?" Sadie asked," You were screaming!" I sniffed and wiped the sweat off my forehead. My eyes scaled them. Mom was grasping my hand as though I was on my deathbed. "Well?" Mom asked raising her eyebrows hopefully. I looked out the window. I felt like a zombie, like the living dead. "Why won't you ever talk to us?" Tears were leaking from both of their big blue eyes. I wondered if mine were the same, or if like everything else that belonged to me, had he taken them with him? " Shayna, please. I need to hear your voice," Mom said to me, pleaded, begged. "Dream," was all I could manage. Light was flooding through the window now. Just a slice of it rising above suburbia. "Well, school is tomorrow," Mom said letting go of my hand gingerly and standing up," Get some rest." I wanted to say something sarcastic but my lips were sewn together. "Goodnight," Sadie said. I looked at her and she looked at me enticingly. "I don't understand you anymore, Shay." I laid back down and sighed. _And you never will._

The buzzer killed my pounding head as it went off at six a.m. I hadn't slept since the nightmare. Mom stepped into the room like clockwork. "Are you awake?" I looked at her boredly. "Breakfast is ready when you are," she sounded weak, sad. Like she had been crying all night like I had. I stretched my legs and felt as though they had never been used as long as I lived. I hadn't changed my clothes for what seemed like weeks. Maybe a month. I shrugged off the dirty feeling and peered into the monstrous closet. I pulled out Dickies pants that I had worn to work the past year at Rite Aid before I quit. They were more loose than they had ever been. I looked down at my bare stomach. It almost scared me. A tear rolled down my cheek. I hadn't eaten for three days running. I had no intention to. The shirts in the closet seemed like they belonged to another person entirely. After a barrage of attempts to make slutty shirts look decent I found an old band t-shirt and pulled it on. I wondered how it had ended up in my closet. My face looked dead. I opened my eyes to full extent. Crap. I opened the drawer of my deserted dresser. The untouched make-up sat in there. I scrambled through it all and found eyeliner. It pained me to put it on. The darkness seemed almost too much of a contrast to my pale reflection. My eyes were still big and blue, my hair was still that dark blonde that I had always hated so much. But my face did not look the same. It was skinnier, it looked purely like death itself. Not the happy and full-bodied girl I had been. I'd had a tan. There was no contrast from pale to darkness. A knock came on the door. "Shayna?" Sadie came into the room. I looked at her. " Do you want to drive to school?" I shook my head persistently until she went away and pulled on my jean jacket and backpack. Places to go, people to meet, but why?

People seemed to stare at me as Sadie drove into the parking lot of our grisly little high school. Faces that I recognized horrifyed me. My old bestfreind Breanna was waving at me but I looked down. I busied myself with my backpack. " Why don't you say hi to some people, Shayna? Stop being such a mega-bitch. Okay?" Sadie opened the car door and stepped out. My eyebrows were furrowed, anger rising up in me. Mega-bitch? She had actually used those words to describe this miserable situation. I felt like my chest was going to explode with extreme and uncontrollable viciousness. I wanted to tear her head off. Before I had managed to make a murder plan I heard my hideous name from a distance and looked out the window. "Shayna!" Breanna called. How could I not talk to her? She was standing right there. If I didn't what would she think? I had my voice box ripped out in some horrible brawl she had never been informed about. "It's been like a month, where have you been?" "Around," I told her in a hateful voice. She looked confused," And you couldn't call me?" "I didn't want to." As I got out of the car she looked as though she would cry. " Did we have a fight that I missed?" she asked. " Leave me alone, okay?" I walked away from her and folded my arms, wiping my bangs out of eyes. I heard her preppy little shreik from behind me but ignored it.

The floors are tattered, the lockers are broken, the guys are pigs and the girls are whores. I've never noticed my surroundings before. I never saw how many teachers stay in their rooms reading novel after novel in their classroom or get coffee while trying to pick up on the high school students. The walk to room 54 was aggravating. I had never gotten this much attention. I saw my other freind, Gavin, getting ready to approach me. I stared onward. "Shay!" he said excited. " I can't talk," I said unwillingly. The words purged from my mouth like a bulimic victim's favorite meal. "Why not?" he asked getting behind me and following. "Because!" "Are you okay?" he asked taking my arm and pulling me around. "Why do you care? Can't you just leave me alone?" " Why would I leave you alone. It seems like you need to be around someone. Sadie told me everything." "What?" I asked enraged once again. " She told me that you've been all good girl gone emo. Since you came home from a date or something. Please talk to me, Shayna." " She's delusional and you need to leave me alone." "Then why haven't you eaten, and why haven't you talked to anyone else?" " Because." "What happened on that date, Shayna?" "Why are you pushing, Gavin?" I asked him stealing my arm back. "I need to make sure your okay. And I'm totally willing to take a blood oathe to never spill secrets. It's more than obvious you need a diary. I can be your diary." I didn't know why he cared now. He had always been concerned and thoughful but I had no idea he would ever step up like this for me. I doubted his sincerity. "I can't trust you. Besides, I haven't talked to you since like June." "I've called you everyday for over a month. Why haven't you answered." I could feel my face becoming red and tears welling up in my eyes. I looked at him. His kind and gentle eyes. "Let's go," I told him and led him down the stairs.

After watching the guards and making sure they wouldn't see us dash across the desolate parking lot to the car. "I thought this was Sadie's car," Gavin asked. " We share it," I told him as I pulled the key out of my backpack. "Won't she get mad?" "We'll be back before school's over." " Okay.." he got in and I backed out immeadiately. I saw his hesitation. "Where to?" I asked as I turned the corner away from the school. "My place, I guess. My Mom won't get back from work til ten so we won't be overheard." I nearly crashed the collided with a car as I slammed on the breaks. " What!?" he asked. " Alone?" I asked. "My brother will be there but no real supervision, no." "I can't go there.." "Why?" " I can't be alone with you. I don't know you-" "It'll be fine. Honest. You've known me since the third grade. I promise you can trust me." I looked at him skeptically as cars blew their horns behind me. "Fine," I shouted and drove on. His 'place' turned out to be a paltry apartment. " Why do you care so much?" I asked him as we sat down in his kitchen. " Why not? I've always cared about you. Your a cool freind." " I've hung out with you maybe six times since freshman year?" "And I've never heard a word against you," he said. " Really?" I asked modestly. " Not one. You don't really get on people's bad sides." "I guess not.."

"So what's wrong?" he asked. His shocking question cut me to the quick. I thought I might of narrowly escaped the outpouring I desperately needed. "Something happened... over the summer..." " Something good... bad?" I turned away from him as the tears flowed down my face. " Really bad..." I choked up and broke down in tears. "Did you get an std? Pregnant?" The word. He said the word. I was hysterical. "I guess I've hit the button," he said, "Who's the father?" His face appeared in my head and I felt as though my legs turned to jelly. Gavin held me in his arms and pulled my hair away from my wet face. " Was it Peter Edwards?" "No!" I almost laughed. " Do you know who it is?" I shook my head yes. " Do I know him?" I looked up at him and looked into his deep brown eyes, I nodded. "Who is it?" "I was a virgin.." I felt my eyebrows get almost connected as I furrowed my eyebrows. How could I tell him? He knows him. Gavin's face became red as he became almost infuriated. "Did he rape you?" I wanted to take my eyes off his but they were hooked. "Who?" I looked down finally breaking away. " Shayna, tell me." " Derek Foster..." I mumbled. "Derek? Derek my bestfreind, Foster?" Tears flew from my eyes into my hands. "He raped you?" I nodded. " When?" "The fourth of July." "And your sure your pregnant?" I looked at him. "Yes." "Have you talked to him since?" I looked at him funny,"I haven't talked to anyone for over a month." He ran his fingers through his hair. I'd made the wrong decision.

His furry was growing. "I should leave," I told him. "No, don't-" he set his hand on mine. "Why?" I asked blindly. " Because, he needs to go down-" "No!" tears were welling up in my eyes and fear in my heart," You can't tell anyone! You can't! Please!" I had pulled my hand away from him and was on my knees and was begging him. "He raped you, Shayna. He raped you and got you pregnant. He needs to do something-" "He'll kill me," I told him. " He won't kill you. I know hi-" "Did you think he was capable of rape?" I asked him with more conviction in my voice than I'd ever had. "No.." "He had a gun to my chest," I told him," And the only reason I'm not dead right now is because the round of bullets were.. empty. Or something. Everytime he pulled the trigger nothing happened." "Six duds in a row?" " I don't know.." " He tried to kill you?" Tears fell from my eyes. "Yes." He rubbed his eyes like he was near fainting. "Have you been to a doctor?" he asked. I was genuinely confused at this question. " For what?" "Std's, not to mention the bab-" "Don't! Don't call it that." "So your not going to keep it, then?" "I don't- I don't know.. I haven't thought about it. I don't want to think about it." " You have to think about it. It's not going to go away. Especially since you're pregnant. How do you know?" "What do you mean?" "If you didn't go to the doctor's how did you have it confirmed?" " Missing two months worth of-" " Oh.." " Yeah." "We should have you checked." "What do you mean we?" "I'm not going to let you go through this alone.." This confused me even more. "It's not like your the father. Or even like I know you so well. I haven't even said more than 50 words to you before today." "I've always cared about you.. I mean, I've had a crush, I guess." "Don't let a crush put you in a situation that you don't belong in." "Why would Sadie come to me of all people if I wasn't supposed to be in this situation with you?" "Because Sadie is a bitch. And she's incredibly stupid."

"Are you planning on telling your parents?" "I.. I hadn't thought about that either.." "Did they think you'd been having sex?" " No, I always told my mom pretty much everything." "Are you going to tell them about.. you know.." " No." "You need to tell someone, turn his sorry ass in-" "No." " Why not?" "Because it's over. There's not evidence. There's nothing-" "The baby is his." I put my face in my hands," I don't want anyone to know. I haven't said a word til today. I've been freezing my family out, I've been like some ghost. I don't even know how I'm going to walk out the front door and open my mouth again. How am I supposed to walk around with a kid that nobody know's who the father is, and if I do tell, then everyone know's that I was the stupid girl who got herself raped by the school jock. I should've known what I was getting myself into, right? I should've been prepared to give it up to him- Or I should've done something more to stop him-" "Stop, Shayna. It's not your fault. None of this is your fault. This is all on him." "I don't want to be the victim. Or the whore." " You're neither." I hugged him, "Thank you." He held me in his tight embrace for a second. I hadn't felt that safe feeling for a long time, and there it was. Here with him.


End file.
